I'm so sick and tired of all the accusation going on at home. It sucks when I'm in school and really occupied with school stuff and I receive calls from home, thinking it would be urgent so I decide to answer only to hear "Kau amek duit mak eh?"I really didn't. And I notice this has been going on for, years? There was once, there's a burn mark on my mom's canopy hood, and her left side of she Scholl slippers when missing and oh guess who they thought would had the time to do it? Guess who? Guess who? Guess who? If you say, "You". Oh yes! You're right! ME! M-E! Hooray.Oh and here comes the part where I don't really know what to feel about it. That guy living a across my room who flew to some country is finally coming back. Can't deny the fact that I somehow missed him. So I was talking to Beep about it . . . And I told him that I think I wanna start a conversation with him after almost 2 years I did not. So Beep said I should somehow give in and push the egos aside, though he strongly feel that I shouldn't be the one doing it.So I got back home feeling all excited, but then, when I reached home, he's not. So I went to have a shower and then after shower, mom asked "Ehk, did you break one of my Switzerland magnet?". Like why the fuck would I do that? Plus its not literally broken, it's just some dangling stuff that came off. And then she goes "Tak selamat hidup kau buat orang macam gini." And I'm like What the fuck? Ok whatever. But little that I know that it was a great hoo-haa to her that when the-guy-who-lives-opposite-my-room came back, she said "Kau tengok aar Zul, ade orang pedengki pecahkan magnet mak". And then he goes like "Kimak, mcm sial pe perangai. Dah aar, yang Aizul beli dari Norway letak kat rumah kakak sudah. Nanti habes semua die pecahkan".Oh and I abort the idea of wanting to talk to him. Because ouch that hurts!And tell how it feels like having somebody, someone badly wanting you to leave the house every morning but not wanting to give you a cent to at least let you afford to leave? I don't understand why someone would hate something so bad especially that something came right out of you?!I'm not dying for her love, or anyone under this roof. Not at all. Because all everybody in this house thinks about is money and at the age of GOING 20, I'm still a full-time student and not bringing back any cents home, who wouldn't hate me? But you want me to graduate, there's so much to do, having a job wouldn't help at all. Why wouldn't anyone understand that?Oh there's a lot more I wanna say but I shall just stop.
And so this is part of the reason I'm always not home because I don't feel home at home.
