I don't understand why you have to hide. For all I know, I am always the first. I tried to hold back like I always could, but I just have to let loose. I know my stand, there's nothing I can do. As promised, feelings aside, and you know I am always here. I'll be happy to see you happy, even if I am not at all part of it. And I should not feel the way I am feeling right now. Seriously, I need to knock it out of me. I should just walk off and not just stuck my nose up your ass. I am so head-over-heels about you, trying my best to grab your attention, wanting so hard to be in the center of your world, it doesn't take me long to realize how far below I am standing under you and all I could afford to be is your friend.

It really does kill me, like a million of arrows flying to you and strike you straight to your left lung and other part of the body, just like those in the ancient wars, to see you coming to me, sharing those wonders and disasters you are going through with another girl.

And I can't explain the pain I feel seeing you not having much time for me and pay more attention to ***. I tried not to portray and had been hiding. Tell me when will this ever stop? It is stupid thinking how I had always wished I could have you all to myself when all I need to do is give up because those are just merely fantasies.

And I don't understand why, you treat me like more than just a friend to you. You made me feel, we are having that mutual feelings.Sometimes I felt like you gave me hope. But I should never dream too high. All I promise is I would always be there for you. Even on the day you want to buy a ring for your future wife. Even on the day you are too nervous on your wedding day. Even on the day your first child is about to be out of the womb. Even on the day you daughter got her first period and your wife is away. Even on the day your daughter is graduating. Even on the day your wife disapproves your daughter's choice of a life partner. Even on the day you find it hard to clique with your son-in-law. Even on the day you lay on your deathbed. Be it physically or mentally.

And yes, I cannot deny that I love you so much and I wouldn't mind you not knowing this strong feelings deep in me and that my blood flow just for you. But it hurts so much to love you the way I do and then look at you to realize how much you don’t care.

Labels: Need I tell more?