K . I uploaded the photos at random . and so will the entry be . Ermm . Not really aar . i think i will be typing down wat runs thru my mind . So tat means, it's gonna be about anything under the sun ..
I wanna be a love doctor, a love doctor tat get paid and not like what i'm doing now, giving advices for free . Oh my, wat's wrong with me . i don sound sincere . Oh well, i am glad for i noe tat my frens knew tat i am here for them, willing to lend my listening ear and even a strong shoulder to cry on . I am glad tat i knoe tat my frens trust me and noe that i am reliable . Without reluctancy, they noe, i am willing to do wateva i afford to do to help them out . I feel so appreciated and so please to noe tat my frens noe i love them and dey love me to . But recently, i felt so used . It (a particular person, not gonna be specific if it's a he or she) take advantage of my kindness . Using me like a toy that does not have feelings and heart . Use me and play with my feelings . I seldom take things seriously but this seriously hurts me so . I felt the prick it causes in my heart . The pain was excrutiating . I tried my best to make it feel happy by doing what i think would make it happy, but i failed and it does not even have the courage to make me feel happy too . i feel so lowly of myself cos it take advantage of my kindness towards it i feel so lowly of myself because i make it think i can be USED oh well, i tried to make it happy but something failed me Cant it jus spare a tot for me and not cancel it to bring me down ? why is my life always like tis ? maybe fat and ugly girls like me ought to be treated like tisIt is so heartless . It is such a bastard . I hate it after what it done to me .
Although it is a lil bit indirect, i noe what it's motive really was .
I can't read minds but i noe exactly wat u are thinking .
Kau hilang bila ku tiba, kau datang bila ku kecewa. Terasa diri di persenda.
Dimana berakhirnya nanti permainan sendiwara mu ini. Sesungguhnya aku tak mengerti.
Someone came to me last night and said tis :
"Fatin...2 tell u honestly,
ur inner beauty is much3 more 10x prettier den ur outer beauty. "
No . i am not lying . Why shud i ? I'm not trying to show off or wateva but me myself can't seriously trust tat sentence . I can't judge my own attitude and behaviour myself . But tat was the most sweetest compliment that i had ever recieved which is so hard for me to fully believe if it was true .
Something is wrong with me these few days . Seriously, i am not acting like how i always do . Same old shit . Dying of it . i used to be so strong i hav a problem a problem tat had never change for 17 years of life recently, everything had gone to the extreme i cursed myself every morning wen i wake up, for i am still alive i simply lost my strenght somewer now i felt so weak, so weak i wished i would die soontat swollen eyes i have this morning says a lot a lot about how i put on a facade to skool and give my jovial personality out deep in, im dying oni GOD knoes tatStop it sey OranGe !! as i said earlier on, i upload photos at random in this entry . I upload wat i feel like uploading . This is a "collage" i made of my beloved secondary skool frens . This is during teachers day . I knoe it had been some time ago but i had yet to publish it here . 
Simple but nice . I like .
On thursday, i had Contemporary Issues in Culture and Aesthetics . Its about Reading Art . So i decided to do about Pop Art . i found 2 artpiece .
Andy Warhol's Marilyn Prints
Tears of Milk By Ketna Patel
Both are Pop Art and look how different can it be . Both conveys different messages by using the same theme . Oooo . i'm becoming Arty-Farty . Muahahaaha
http://ketnapatel.com/artworks/paintings/details/tearsOfMilk_d.html
I was chatting with amir wen he suddenly send me tis
Him with his wobbly hands . and so i drew this . Nice right ?
T-R-A-C-E !!!
and iyliee drew me . can u believe it ? she drew me !! muaha . let see how it is .
Haaaha . So not me laa . and so, i draw her too .
looks like her right ? with sepet eyes . Fringe and curly hair . =)
And so, i was surfing the net wen i suddenly decide to go to my secondary school's website and guess wat i found ...
Haaaha . Find me !! That's like wen i'm sec 3 .
Some highlights last week:
When eating a Cafe Gelare with my new classmates .
- Sham bought me a Polka Dot headband and a biscuit earing for my birthday . Love it a lot . A lot a lot . Thanx Sham !!
- iyliee gave me a small golden pouch . its so nice !
Went out with amir . wanted to watch movie but there wasnt any nice movie to watch . So we jus walk around . Den saw a small lost boy . Poor thing seyy . Den wen arcade, amir get to play 3 free pinball game . went home with stomach cramps due to excessive laughter .
Went to celebrate Kai Yen's birthday with old classmate . Jojo, Turtle, Sotong, Kai Yen, Sebastian, Sementar, her boifren, Starmie, Jin Yan and Amir . Went lucky plaza to play pool . Bumped into Taufiq, my online-pal . Had been chatting with him for months but never meet . Our pool table was beside each other but i do not dare to approach him . Den went to Plaza Singapura and have dinner at Pizza Hut . Syai was working so i got several privileges . Oh yaa !! Amir bought me the Red and White Polka Dot headband that i was dying to buy at FarEast . So happy !! Love it alot . Thanx a million amir !!
I have yet to take photos of my new headbands . No photos wen we wen out . Was having too much fun, we hardly have time for photos !!
To my dearest Nur Syaheerah Islam . I want u to be a strong girl . i noe how it hurts so much but promise me one thing, never keep anything to urself . Amir, Ain and me are here for u . We love u and u shud noe tat . Be strong .
Let me end tis entry with a few cute photos .
OH YAA !! Before i forgot, i need to reply to my tags !!
So sorry my dearest taggers for had not been responding to it for quite some time .
Chicka: Sheesh . i cant believe i did tat too . Haaha .
Turtle : Wateva tat floats ur boat . My OranGe-y Bear is still the cutest !!
Aneng : Haaha . i'm not crying girl . My heart is .
Sham : Sorry aar . We oni have 4 free tix . So so sorry .
Pinky : Oh yea !! i need it too . uuurgh . i'm fasting and thinking of YOUR Ben & Jerry .
Zack : Thanx Zack . i try not to k . =)
iyliee : i like the present u gave me !! i put my athsma spray, thumbdrive, house key in it . All those small2 random things in my bag . It helps me make my schoolbag a lil bit neater . Heehe . Don worry babe . Its the tot tat counts .
Pinky : It is super funny laa !! Stop making me laugh !! My stomach will explode real soon . hehehe .
Sham : Wat Oreng ?? Its Oren !! Muahahahahahaaaha
iyliee : U are right iyliee . Thanx babe .
Pinky : Thanx Ain . Thanx for hearing me out tat night . I love you .
Love Love
]]*OranGeDoLL
